she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize