you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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