so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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