I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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