I think I died a long time ago.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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