It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
