She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
