She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
