U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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