It's Friday. Sex?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
