Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
