I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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