Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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