Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
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