i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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