i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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