I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize