You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i believe in u and ur pee
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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