If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Let's paint friendship bongs
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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