dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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