im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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