I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Randomize
