google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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