I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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