WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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