marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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