that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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