oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
