Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
