tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He felt like a one man threesome
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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