You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
