I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
