i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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