You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
