dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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