A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
