me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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