I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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