I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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