I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize