And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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