Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
