i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
When are your genitals available?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
