I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
