white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
