i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I understand Curling. That high.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
