is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
