worst night to have a conscience
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
