I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize