You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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