I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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