Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
