the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
