East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
