Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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