Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
