I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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