I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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