it wasn't lemon gatorade
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
